her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
