I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
