Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
