well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
