Cold hands, warm shart.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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