ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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