i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
