sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
