shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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