Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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