I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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