Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
