My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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