honey bunches of taint.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
