Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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