How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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