I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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