I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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