Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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