Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
