she woke up with a sticky ear
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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