i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Terrible idea I love it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
its liver damage thursday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
