ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize