She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
