so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
