I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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