Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My feet surprised me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
