I'm so fucking centered right now
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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