Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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