We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
