i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
