Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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