just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize