he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
