i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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