You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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