Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
