i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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