If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize