..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
