Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
