there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
