Pregnant stripper...not hot.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
