I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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