i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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