My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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