My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
