come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
