You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
