I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
