I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
