I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
