are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize