that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
