That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
