Are we in a gay sports bar?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
