if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
