ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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