Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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