just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
