let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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