I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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