he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize