Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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