we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
