I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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