If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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