I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
