does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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